Something that's bugging me.....
I feel like I forgive people a lot, even if they wrong me really bad. I always have been a forgiving person. Sometimes it takes a little while, but I can honestly say I can't think of 1 person that I am holding a grudge against right now. Yes, I have held grudges in the past, but I've tried my hardest to overcome that obstacle and I think I succeeded. The thing that's bugging me is, I feel like as much as I forgive others, they don't forgive me....I'm not perfect, and never will be. I've said hurtful things to people and been mean, but I always apologize, or try to anyway. What makes their mess ups better than mine? It makes me really sad, and sick to my stomach when people treat me badly because of something I messed up with or said a year or MORE ago. If I can let go of the things people have done to me, then why can't people let go of whatever I've done? Why is it that people choose to stay mad at someone over stupid things and let those things ruin friendships? I'm getting to the point where I guess I just have to let people feel what they want without it bothering me, even if it is over something STUPID. I'm not going to let them shape who I am, not now not ever. I know that I am a good person and have a lot to offer people (especially my friends) but if someone wants to be a jerk, ignore my gestures, and blow off our friendship, then so be it. I've done my part, and will continue to be myself and love people, whether or not they want to love me back. No one deserves to be treated hatefully, which is why even though people wrong me, I will still love them. Yeah, it hurts, but I'll get over it with the help of God. I guess not everyone is going to "like" me or want to have a friendship with me, so I'm not going to waste my time on people who "dislike" me so terribly much. No, I won't blow them off if they do ever decide to get over the grudge holding, but I'm not going to let myself keep getting rejected and hurt over people who could give a crap about me, which lately seems like a handful of people. I'm going to give it to God, and let him help me. This too shall pass....
