Okay so the photo on the right was taken in 2008. I was 125 lbs. I looked good and felt good. The picture on the right was taken in 2011. As you can tell I'm a few pounds heavier. Actually more like 50 pounds heavier. I know, it's crazy. I still can't figure out how I gained 50 pounds in 3 years. People tell me that I am so pretty and look good, but deep down I don't feel like that's true. I am not satisfied with my body at all, whatsoever! I know right now I am pregnant, but it's not the baby weight that I'm talking about. It's my weight that I was even before I got pregnant. My doctor told me that for my height and shape, 145 is a good weight to be. If that's the case then I am 30 pounds overweight. *My prebaby weight* I'm obese!!!! I never really thought of myself as that horrible word until my doctor pretty much told me I was. This past year has been a battle because before I got pregnant I really tried and tried to lose weight, and it just wasn't working for me. I get depressed about my body image a lot. I'm so sick of being disgusted with myself. I just want to feel satisfied. I want to be someone who my husband is proud of and can stand looking at. SO...I am planning on going all out once my Emerie is here and LOSE THIS FAT! I am at the point where I HAVE Ito lose the weight. It's not healthy at all. And I want to be able to chase my kid around when she starts walking and not be out of breath because of it. I think that once I start eating healthier and working out on a regular basis, I'll feel more refreshed and happy with myself. It's going to suck to have to lose my 30 pounds that I'm already overweight, plus the baby weight. Luckily I've only gained like 10 pounds with my pregnancy so far, so I think it'll be okay. Blah.
