Honesty is the best policy...

Okay to be completely honest, I have NOT been doing my duties as a "Christian".....Before today, I can't tell you the last time I took a decent amount of time out my day to spend with God, or even do a devotional....I haven't been praying every day and all throughout the day like I'm suppose to....I rarely pray before I eat anymore....I don't witness as much as I should, and I'm sure I've missed out on BIG opportunities because of it....I'm starting to get to a place where I don't feel "comfortable" talking to people about my faith, and that is NOT good....I know my Bible pretty well, so I know all the rules and how I'm suppose to act as God's child, but I've been ignoring it and running away...My hearts not hard by any means, but I just need to step it up....Being a Christian is hard work....We have a lot of "tasks" that we are to complete for God....We have to share the Gospel to the lost, be a light in the darkness of this mess of a world and to love like Christ loves.........Following the world is easy, but not what we are suppose to do....I wanna enter through the narrow gate......I need to just be careful what I say and who I spend a lot of time with....I need to surround myself with uplifting people, not negative one's.....It's going to be a struggle, but I need to restore my relationship with God....I know it'll make me feel better...Lately I've just not felt like myself at all....I've felt sad and depressed.....It's cool because I did a devotion today and it really was what I needed....Part of it said that "if you can't change your situation, change your attitude ABOUT your situation"...That's just what I've been struggling with....I'm upset a lot about our financial sitch and lots of other things when instead I just need to be patient and trust that God can and WILL change the situation in time, as long as we stay out of the way and let him.....God certainly works in mysterious ways....<3