Beached Whale................

So I'm kinda mad at myself..........Here's why:....I have made a commitment EVERY DAY for the past idk, 4 years that I AM GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT!....I say this to myself everyday...."Today is the day, I'm going to eat healthy and go get my sweat on"......or "I WILL get into a bikini this summer, I'm gonna start on that body TODAY"....And then I see the Oreo's on the counter....Or Coca Cola in the fridge....And then I'm all like "I'll start tomorrow"............................I know you probably think I'm exaggerating, but I'm truly not! I am actually very depressed right now, and I think the biggest reason is because of my weight.......Yeah, I know, I just had a baby and it "takes time"....But I was already overweight BEFORE I got pregnant with Emerie, and now I feel like a freaking beached whale.....I started to exercise everyday a few weeks ago, but of course came up with some lame excuses and quit.....My husband and I have had a Y membership since the end of February........You wanna know how many times I've gone??....... FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And one of those times doesn't really count because we were only there a short time and I didn't really do much.........I am so annoyed with myself and I just don't know how to quit!!!....I know 100% that I am an "emotional eater".....When Jared's home we are usually doing something all the time, so I don't eat as much at all.......When he goes to work, "all food breaks loose"......I don't have a car to drive around because he takes it to work......So I'm stuck at my apartment from 5 pm to 5 am by myself (and Emerie of course) and I get bored!....When I'm bored I eat.......And I eat a lot.....Basically whatever is in the house.....Luckily I haven't gained any of the weight back that I lost after having Emerie, but that's NOT the point...I need to LOSE weight......And also, I want to trade my 6 pack of flabs for a 6 pack of ABS......But the thing is, I don't know where to begin.....I feel so unmotivated with it all....I am depressed which then causes me to be tired a lot, so I don't even have the energy to go out and do anything.........I know, I'm a HUGE excuse maker, I just wish I had motivation.....I mean yeah when a Victoria Secret commercial comes on that's a little motivating, but then when a food opportunity comes along I always okay it............How do I overcome this nonsense..........I seriously don't know what to do.........