Stupid Sin...

Why must I always always ALWAYS give in to stupid sin?...Why? Because I'm weak, that's why....I'm weak and pathetic...I'm so lost...I'm lost because I have a tendency to push God far far away. I close my heart and ears off. I don't want to hear the "I told you so's" or "Do this or that's"...I want to be free to do what I want when I want and however I want....Butttt, that's not how it works is it? NO! It's not...I don't know how many times God has to smack me upside the head with a "wake the heck up" stick before I'll actually get in tuned to what he is telling me....Sometimes I make up my own rules (as I'm sure some of you do). I allow myself to become involved in activities or conversations that are completely worldly. I gossip, get super angry, WORRY, stress out, give up, give in, become scared, ignore my obligations as a child of God....All these things just carry me further and further away from him....I hate it!...I know though, that only though Christ can I be restored....So once AGAIN I am having to reevaluate my life, my choices and the people I surround myself with. I am better than what I have been doing and the way I've been acting...I just have to let go and let God do his thing...As hard as it is, I have to! Being a Christian isn't a walk in the park, and it was never intended to be either....It's tough and a whole lot of work...We have duties to fulfill as disciples...I haven't been doing my job, but I'm going to start! I'm bound and determined to fight on through my struggles and trials and let God do his work in my life and repay him as well....Ready, set, here I GO!