Okay so it started with my last OB appointment. I went in and my nurse practitioner did my checkup and told me everything looked good! After she was typing her notes on the computer she stopped and told me that I needed to schedule another ultrasound (which I had just had my routine ultrasound a week prior) because they needed to get a better picture of Oliver's kidney. She smiled and assured me that it wasn't anything to be concerned about and I went on my way. Well it came time to go to my ultrasound yesterday and I brought Jared, Emerie and my Mother and Sister in law with me. I was really excited to be able to see Ollie moving around. I get all checked in and we are in the ultrasound room and she starts the exam. I asked if she was able to see his kidney's okay and get a better picture. She looked at me and kind of laughed and said "we had taken good pictures the last time, that's not why you're here". I was super confused and just blankly stared at her. She then told me "his right kidney was filling with fluid, that's why you're here, to see if it's gotten better or worse. Didn't your doctor tell you that?" I was like, "no, she didn't. What exactly does that mean?". "Well it means that his urine is backing up into his kidney instead of making it's way out". So I naturally, immediately started to panic and freak out. I asked a bunch more questions and of course she couldn't answer them all because the radiologist is the one who reviews the ultrasound and then sends the results to the doctor. So I basically left the room super stressed out and extremely worried. I felt so sick to my stomach. I started googling (I do not advise doing this in these kind of situations) and found a couple different issues that this could be. I made myself crazy by looking into this stuff.
Well I then decided I needed to forget about it till the morning when they call me. So I focused on Emerie and baking cookies. Later on I decided to take a warm bath and read some of "Crazy Love" (I just started reading this a few days ago). It was a little strange because on the first page of what I was reading it was talking about kidneys and our need for them.
I was like wow, that is way weird. So of course I started to think about my baby and his kidney again, and stressed myself out. I decided I better just continue reading. So I did. I eventually was lead to this paragraph about our command to always rejoice in the Lord and to refrain from being anxious in anything. I stopped and was like, okay God, I get it. I'm all eyes and ears.
So I kept on reading...I was then led to this page where the words worry and stress were typed in bold print....I mean if this isn't a wake up call, I don't know what is. I was meant to read this particular section at this certain time. I may not have gotten anything out of it had I not read it then. It clearly is telling me that I am not suppose to worry or stress about anything. To do so is showing God that I don't believe in his power and ability to get me through anything. It shows my lack of faith and is honestly disrespectful to him. So I was in awe of this clear sign I was given. I began to lay it all down and give all my worries to God. I apologized for not trusting his plan and abilities.
I got out of the bath and went into the living room to tell Jared about my AHA! moment. He thought that was pretty cool as well and we prayed together about it. I was at complete peace the rest of the night...When I woke up this morning I had a voicemail from my doctor's office to call them back. I called and talked to the nurse and she let me know that the ultrasound results came back and Oliver is completely FINE! Praise God! I am so thankful that I was open to hear what he had to tell me. I am taking this as a learning experience and am going to continue giving my concerns to him. I can't do anything on my own.
