I'm a hater

Okay so I need to get my rant on.....I absolutely HATE summer with a burning, blazing, fiery passion......Wanna know why? I'll tell ya why..


1. Mosquito's....I think I have "bite me" engraved on every inch of my body or something because I get bit EVERY time I step foot outside, even if just for a minute....And isn't summer suppose to be  an "enjoy the outdoors" time of year?? Pssh, as if....
2. Chiggers...^See above...
3. SPIDERS!! This is the time of year when the spiders come out to kill us humans off.....I cannot tell you how many spiders (all different species too) I've seen in my house...I am happy that most of them are already dead when I get to them, but still......And I've had 2 spider bites so far this summer.... Not something I want to have to keep count of......
4. FLIES, TICKS, WASPS AND JUNE BUGS, OH MY.............I don't think I need to explain my dislike for these devil bugs............
5. 90 + degree temperatures....I get migraines and heat just sets them off...And plus, I don't really like melting.....
6. I can't wear shorts comfortably because my thunder thighs stick to the leather seats in my van.....I mean who wants to experience that? Not I...
7. I'm fat.......Quite frankly, summertime does NOT favor us hefty hefty hefty folk....For one thing, wearing swimsuits looks something like marshmallows overflowing from your smores....And another thing, since I clearly don't have a "thigh gap", I get some pretty gnarly road rash....How fun....
8. The ice cream" trucks" (I used quotes there because they are never trucks, but always ghetto vans)....What's creepier than the slow driving ice cream "truck" playing clown music and drawing the little children in?....Not much....
9. Sweat....They say sweating is a good thing, but I think "they" is cray....I'd like to not have to change my shirt 8 times a day because of sweating through them (I'm being a little sarcastic, just a little)..
10. Cooking becomes extremely dreadful....Turning on the stove or oven makes the house a million times hotter than it already is. No bueno....


Now here are the things I love about summer...

1. Fireflies

A testimony of learning to trust God.

Okay so it started with my last OB appointment. I went in and my nurse practitioner did my checkup and told me everything looked good! After she was typing her notes on the computer she stopped and told me that I needed to schedule another ultrasound (which I had just had my routine ultrasound a week prior) because they needed to get a better picture of Oliver's kidney. She smiled and assured me that it wasn't anything to be concerned about and I went on my way. Well it came time to go to my ultrasound yesterday and I brought Jared, Emerie and my Mother and Sister in law with me. I was really excited to be able to see Ollie moving around. I get all checked in and we are in the ultrasound room and she starts the exam. I asked if she was able to see his kidney's okay and get a better picture. She looked at me and kind of laughed and said "we had taken good pictures the last time, that's not why you're here". I was super confused and just blankly stared at her. She then told me "his right kidney was filling with fluid, that's why you're here, to see if it's gotten better or worse. Didn't your doctor tell you that?" I was like, "no, she didn't. What exactly does that mean?". "Well it means that his urine is backing up into his kidney instead of making it's way out". So I naturally, immediately started to panic and freak out. I asked a bunch more questions and of course she couldn't answer them all because the radiologist is the one who reviews the ultrasound and then sends the results to the doctor. So I basically left the room super stressed out and extremely worried. I felt so sick to my stomach. I started googling (I do not advise doing this in these kind of situations) and found a couple different issues that this could be. I made myself crazy by looking into this stuff. 

Well I then decided I needed to forget about it till the morning when they call me. So I focused on Emerie and baking cookies. Later on I decided to take a warm bath and read some of "Crazy Love" (I just started reading this a few days ago). It was a little strange because on the first page of what I was reading it was talking about kidneys and our need for them. 

I was like wow, that is way weird. So of course I started to think about my baby and his kidney again, and stressed myself out. I decided I better just continue reading. So I did. I eventually was lead to this paragraph about our command to always rejoice in the Lord and to refrain from being anxious in anything. I stopped and was like, okay God, I get it. I'm all eyes and ears.   

So I kept on reading...I was then led to this page where the words worry and stress were typed in bold print....I mean if this isn't a wake up call, I don't know what is. I was meant to read this particular section at this certain time. I may not have gotten anything out of it had I not read it then. It clearly is telling me that I am not suppose to worry or stress about anything. To do so is showing God that I don't believe in his power and ability to get me through anything. It shows my lack of faith and is honestly disrespectful to him. So I was in awe of this clear sign I was given. I began to lay it all down and give all my worries to God. I apologized for not trusting his plan and abilities.

I got out of the bath and went into the living room to tell Jared about my AHA! moment. He thought that was pretty cool as well and we prayed together about it. I was at complete peace the rest of the night...When I woke up this morning I had a voicemail from my doctor's office to call them back. I called and talked to the nurse and she let me know that the ultrasound results came back and Oliver is completely FINE! Praise God! I am so thankful that I was open to hear what he had to tell me. I am taking this as a learning experience and am going to continue giving my concerns to him. I can't do anything on my own. 

Don't be materialistic...

So I don't know how I have implemented this mindset, but I'm totally not into obsessing over material things. So many people are hooked on their possessions. There are the people who hoard every possible thing, then there are the people who just always have to own the most expensive brands of everything, and then look down on those of us who either can't afford the same things, or just flat out don't want them...Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with owning or wanting nice things, because there's not. What gets me is when they frown upon those who don't live the same way they do....Like don't criticize me for not appreciating the same things you do, for real. I don't appreciate Coach or Michael Kors the same way you don't appreciate thrift stores and the Dollar General, and that's okay! Or at least it should be okay. Anyway, back to the point.... I know people who absolutely HATE giving things away and seeing people give things away. They are so attached to their "stuff" that they literally cringe at the thought of cleaning out. My thinking is, if you don't use something why not give it to someone who will? Why leave it sitting in your home for years and years not getting any use when there is a person who would love to have it, or someone who needs it? And then there are the people who have an absolute fit if someone breaks something, or gets something dirty...One day we are all going to be gone. Our "junk" will be left behind for someone else to take care of. Once we're dead, we won't have a need for anything on this Earth. I never get super hurt if something gets ruined. I just tell myself, oh well, it's not that big of a deal. I mean you never know what's going to happen in life. Your house could burn down, a tornado could hit and rip your house to shreds, a massive earthquake could happen and break everything you own, someone could break into your house and steal all the things you thought were important, you could get into a bad car crash and total your precious BMW or whatever... I believe that lives are important, but things most certainly are not. It's awesome to enjoy life and the things you've been blessed with, but just remember to not get too attached to things. Just like our lives, anything can be here today and gone tomorrow. Cherish your family and friends and don't fret about things broken or lost.

Happy, happy, happy.

I am pretty satisfied where my life is at right now. No matter what I can say negative, there are about 5 more positives that outweigh them. I am 24 weeks pregnant with my second baby, which is a boy whose name is Oliver Allen, due to arrive May 16. My baby girl (who is really not a baby anymore but a toddler) is going to be 2 years old NEXT MONTH! We are potty training her right now, and she is doing great! She actually was the one who showed interest in going in the potty! We had planned on waiting till she was 2 to start, but she is ready now! She is growing so much. Apart from potty training, she is starting to talk in sentences now (excuse me Mommy, please one more, common mommy lets play, thank you mommy, lets go outside, be happy, and more), she knows how old she is, how to count to 3, she knows some of her colors (yellow, blue, red, purple) and she also is aware of the fact that Mommy has a baby in her belly. She loves to dance and sing and play dress up. She's so loving, she gives lots of hugs and kisses and has sympathy for people. Bath time is still one of her favorite parts of the day. She loves to sit and read stories and play in her kitchen. She has Mommy and Daddy play dolls with her in her doll house a bunch. She is a goofball who is always doing stuff to make everyone giggle. She doesn't like when people argue or talk mean. She is an animal lover already and could play outdoors for hours! She still holds Mommies face and rubs it while drinking her night time "bottle". She is starting to sleep better throughout the night. I just cant get over how big she is getting! I am however, super happy that we have taken the time to thoroughly enjoy each and every milestone that she has went through. I don't feel like we have missed anything, and for that I'm grateful. God has blessed Jared and I more than we could have even imagined. My marriage is also great. Jared is an amazing father and the perfect husband. Although times can be stressful due to finances and other major life decisions, we always stick together and come out on top. This March will mark 8 years that we have been together! 8 YEARS!!! That is absolutely amazing :). We have always made the most of all our circumstances and it has worked wonderfully. It's crazy to think that we started dating our sophomore year of high school and are still going strong.  He makes me happier than he probably even knows. Also in March marks 3 years of being Mr. and Mrs. Some people say that marriage can ruin relationships, or that you won't be as happy years down the road...I disagree. Sure there may be different challenges than we faced as boyfriend and girlfriend, but our love remains strong. We have learned how to talk to each other during hard times and get through them. I'm so appreciative of my hard working bearded man. Hmm, what else...We are seriously loving living out in the country! It is such a blessing. We have a huge yard for Emerie to run free. So for now, and hopefully forever, I can focus on all of the good things in life, and not dwell on the rockyness. I think that'll be my New Year's resolution this year...To see the good in life, the good in people, and the good in the bad. I'm sure I will be much happier if I do so.

Co-Sleeping

Okay, so this is a super controversial topic. I am on the "all for it" side!. When we first brought Emerie home, we didn't have any intention on her sleeping in our bed. I had bought an adorable bassinet for her and the first night home I put her in it at bedtime. She wanted NOTHING to do with it! She just cried and cried until I picked her up. I laid her on my chest and she fell right to sleep....This happened several nights in a row. I continued to put her in her bassinet, but she continued to hate it. I guess you could say she was (and very much still is) a major mama's girl. The only, and I mean ONLY way that girl would sleep, was right on my chest. This went on for months. As she got bigger, it got a lot harder for mama to be able to sleep without her taking my breath away from laying on my chest. I know a lot of people would accuse me of being a bad Mom and bring up the whole SIDS issue and rolling on her, and all that stuff, and that's okay. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. As far as SIDS goes, they are not even sure of the cause of it, period. Babies have died from SIDS laying in their own beds with nothing in the crib with them. SIDS seems to be something that just happens. I agree that preventative measures are good to use, but I'm a woman of prayer and faith. Not one time while Emerie slept on my chest, did I roll over, or make her fall of the bed. I believe that when you become a Mom your instincts completely change. My sleeping habits changed as well. I woke up when she even did a slight sniffle. I would also wake up probably 20 times a night to make sure she was breathing. I don't think I have even fully slept since I had her 2 years ago. Things change. For some Mom's, having your baby sleep with you may not be an option, but for me it was, and it worked out fine! She is still sleeping with us now, 2 years later. Are there nights when I really wish she would sleep in her own bed? Absolutely! But I don't regret letting her sleep with me. It shows that she feels safe with me and trusts me. Some people will tell me, "you need to not let her sleep with you! I mean how do you and your husband have any intimate time?" Well, as if it's any of your business, we make time! We never have really had our intimate time at night anyway as we both truly love our sleep. For people's heads to go to such a weird place is beyond my comprehension. Do we do "stuff" with our kid in our bed? Absolutely NOT! But again, that's truly NONE of your business. I believe that when you are married you should ALWAYS make time for one another, and we do :). Our "intimate" life is going just wonderful, I mean I am expecting baby number two ;). So please refrain from assuming that just because a couple lets their kids sleep with them that they are somehow perverted or have bad judgment. Anyway....When Emerie is ready and willing to sleep in her own big girl bed, she will. And if little Mr. Oliver never co-sleeps, that's okay too. We will not make him one way or the other. If he sleeps fine on his own, that's how it'll be. If he is like my Emerie and wants to sleep on Mama's chest, so be it. I am the mother, and Jared is the father. That means that WE TOGETHER make decisions for our family and our household. We don't make decisions based on what people (parents, grandparents, friends, aunts, uncles, society, etc.) say. We make take in advice, but in the end it is our decision. If you don't like our decision, or anyone else who makes this decision, just bite your tongue. As long as my kids are happy and healthy, then I am doing some things right. And to other Mom's, remember, you are the Mom. You know what's best for you little one's, only you. Don't ever feel inferior due to what other people say.